Introvert

Being an introvert really put an "invisible wall" in front of me. I was a shy person since I was a child and even in my adulthood, I still haven't fully settled into being too outgoing. It didn't hold me back academically though. I was one of the smartest kids in my classes. Even in high school my average would be above the 90's.
There was a point though where I would just cut school, because I was so bored of it and just stayed home to play video games all day (I will touch on this topic much more deeply later in another blog). Even so, missing nearly a month of school, I STILL managed to pass with acceptable grades (65+). This was back in Middle School, but even so that didn't affect me at all from graduating.

In High School, I "nearly" graduated early. Unfortunately, I managed to fail chemistry for some reason and only had about 3 classes the very last semester. No one really picked on me, I had a small circle of friends (Which I still do) and I was not much of a problem starter. Though I have had only 1 fight back in middle school because some kid was throwing chips at me. After said circumstance, he never did that again, I assure you.

Even though I was quiet, I was a very artistic kid. I would like painting and drawing, though my Kindergarten teacher said I couldn't even hold a pencil correctly and was kind of mean to me. But maybe I deserved it, I used to "forge" my parents signature for a sticker. That looks silly for a 5 year old just learning to hold a pencil huh? In the 2nd grade, I was chosen to play Christopher Columbus, though I didn't want too. I mean being the main character in a play and being shy? LOL. I didn't memorize any of the lines, so we improvised with index cards. I would just smile and some people I guess enjoyed the "cuteness" so to speak, as we were congratulated after the play.

In 5th grade I was chosen along with another friend to draw the props for a school play. I enjoyed this though. My IQ at the end of high school was around 125, I did a test a couple of years back and it was pretty high, in the 160's I was surprised by that BUT, the smarter you are, the more prone you are to mental sickness.

My first crush was a girl named Stephanie when I was around 7-8 years old, I used to be dropped off at a baby sitter, and she would also be there. She was the same age, but I was so shy, even looking at her wouldn't be possible for me. As the shyness would strike and I would hide behind a couch for her not to see me. I knew of a couple of girls that likes me when I was in my early teens, I just never made the move because I was still a kid and well, I had bad self-esteem problems, to the point I felt I was good for nothing...

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Introverts aren't much of talkers. They simply analyze and listen, consuming their surroundings and coming to conclusions. Very good listeners and undoubtedly give pretty good advice, they can be some of the most awesome people to hang around with. They will make you think and analyze concepts and topics that are foreign to many folks.

Many prophets, such as Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, etc. have had points in their lives where they have been in complete solitude to receive these "words of wisdom" or guidance that must be heard by the masses. Such leading to the major religions that these men belong to.

Being an introvert myself, I have had problems opening up to people, talking to them about myself. It's just incredibly difficult to walk into a room and say "Hey, I've been a chameleon just blending in, analyzing most of my life in loneliness".
I feel giving too much of oneself is like, letting it all out in the open, without letting a person emerge in curiosity. Peaking their interest to learn more and wanting to harvest crops of the "unknown". Humans are curious creatures so I'm sure this happens quiet a bit.

I compare introverts to interesting books, as they live in their minds and the stories circulating through that beautiful noggin would intrigue people to actually read it. Unlike the extrovert who gives everything away, like the description of the book found in the back cover of it.

Introverts are ones who don't like leading much but would rather work all alone, and make their work come out as perfect as possible. But, if you ever do give them the spotlight, they will shine bright and as mentioned could change the world with the inner wisdom enacted through their words. I have no regrets for being who I am but, now I am actually doing things I haven't before and enjoying it. Little by little peeling this veil that has covered me for so long.

I want to be a difference in this world. I want you all to understand what's going on...